Let me start this particular blog out by saying that I’m still not sure that I’ve got all the facts correct; all I know is that everyone did eventually make it to Pat Turnipseed’s party even if they didn’t arrive in Siggie Corn’s car.
When Siggie called me yesterday to offer to take me to Pat’s 60th birthday brunch I gladly accepted. When she told me that she was going to be picking up Beth Nail before she picked me up it occurred to me that Beth actually lives almost across the street from Kathy Leathers now that she & Dwayne have moved and I wondered out loud why Beth and Kathy didn’t ride together but Siggie said that Beth had called her and asked her for a ride so she was going to pick her up and then she’d swing by to get me. Whatever…I wasn’t having to drive so I didn’t give it any further thought.
When Siggie picked me up I looked in the backseat and there was no Beth. She looked a little puzzled and said that she’d called Beth just before she left and told her she’d be by in a few minutes but that when she got to her house no one came out. She said she waited and waited and so she finally went to the front door and Beth’s daughter Brooke answered (with a slightly puzzled look on her face, Siggie said) and she said that her mother was running late and had just gotten out of the shower and would be a while and that if she needed to that she’d just drive her mother over to the party. There should have been a red flag going up somewhere because Siggie knew that she’d just spoken to Beth a few minutes earlier, who acted like she was all ready to go but I guess she just chalked it up to being hungry. (Women, of which I are one, will do some strange things when our stomachs are rumbling and we know there’s a table full of good food just waiting on us right up the road. We fixate on it, salivate over it and everything else goes out the window,)
It was great to spend time with old friends and some newer friends at Pat’s birthday brunch. Most of us are in the same Sunday School class together and we see each other every week but it isn’t often that we get to just sit around and enjoy each other’s company. There were several old friends of Pat’s that I grew up with as well who made the party just right. Old friends and new…what a sweet blend of laughter, tears, flavorful conversation and yummy chicken salad. (Kay Troupe’s 91 year old mother sent her famous strawberry cake that would make you want to slap your granny as the piece de resistance and was it ever.) You know, I think that when God gave us the institute of “friendship” He gave us a gift almost as special as our own flesh and blood and as a Southern woman, friendship and its strong root system goes as deep as the earth allows and further (some Chinese person is probably wondering what that funny root thing is that came up in his rice paddy, which is ok as long as he doesn’t eat it or take a pick axe to it.) And although we were at Pat’s party, every single one of the ladies who were there are women that I would want to ” do brunch” with and fellowship with over and over again. Lori and Lacy, Pat’s daughters and fine hostesses, made us all feel at home. They said that everyone who was supposed to come was there except for Bessie Branyon but she was probably just running a little late.
I must say that when Beth and Kathy had gotten there Beth apologized profusely to Siggie for not being ready but said that she thought that she was supposed to be riding with Kathy all along. Siggie said that it was perfectly fine (although I’m sure she was really wondering how Beth could have thought that if Siggie had just spoken to her right before she went to pick her up but Siggie let it go and chalked it up to miscommunication.) Everyone laughed and went back to drinking their sweet tea and wondered where Bessie was, who had not gotten there yet and was definitely being “fashionably late” when she called and asked if Siggie was there because Siggie was supposed to have come by and picked her up.
At this point Siggie was totally in a state of confusion because she’d never even spoken to Bessie about picking her up…the run on “red flags” should have made the Dow Jones gone through the ceiling by now but Siggie was oblivious. She apologized to Bessie and said that she had no clue that she was supposed to have picked her up (but being the good friends that we are we did save a sandwich for her and told her to get to the party as quickly as she could.)
It was only after Siggie had sat back down in a comfortable chair that bits and pieces of texts and conversations started coming together like some 2000 piece puzzle that only had 1999 pieces in the box. She realized that when someone had texted her a day or two before, asking for a ride to the birthday brunch, she wasn’t familiar with the number so she asked her husband to look at the Sunday School roll to see who’s number it was. Poor Dennis told her that it was Beth Nail (in his defense, Beth and Bessie’s numbers both have the same prefix although Bessie doesn’t go to church with us) who’d called so Siggie texted back and told her she’d gladly pick her up.
And so it was that on the morning of the birthday party Siggie called “Beth” and told her she’d be by in just a few minutes, a little early so that we could get a good parking spot at the top of Lacy’s driveway (Lacy has a driveway that could serve as a training exercise for hopefuls who wish to climb Mt Everest.) I guess here in the South that “Beth” can sound a little like “Bessie” if you draw it out and maybe have a little static on the line so when she went by to pick up “Beth” she was just getting out of the shower and now that she thought about it, didn’t Brooke look a little puzzled when Siggie had come to the door to pick her up early it was then that she came to the conclusion that she’d never spoken to Beth at all, that the entire time she had been texting and speaking to Bessie, who apparently had no clue that Siggie didn’t know it was her. As it turned out, Beth and Bessie both have similar cell phone numbers. Being the friend that I am I immediately told her that texting was not for old people, that it’s only for those young whippersnappers who use those IPhones like a weapon with that rapid fire thumb action communicating with their closest set of 100 friends. Texting for our generation could be downright dangerous. There’s no telling what information Siggie might have given “Beth” or who she thought was “Beth” (and in her defense, indeed it was just as I thought, when she called the number to tell “Beth” that she was picking her up in a few minutes Bessie heard “Beth….and some static so she thought Siggie said “Bessie”. (If Bessie’s mother had named her Edith none of this would have happened.) This whole episode could have led to dancing, I just know it.
This whole texting thing is just more than I want to fool with; if my sensible friend Siggie could have an entire conversation both via text and telephone with entirely the wrong person then what in the world might I, one who is not very sensible most of the time, do while trying to text? I can see if now–32 pizzas delivered right to my front door and all because I’d texted Papa John’s when I thought I was texting my nephew John.
Texting while driving is an absolute no no for anyone at any age, period, end of story. Texting while sitting in one’s own home is iffy if one is over the age of 40; you might not get picked up for a party or you might still be in the shower when your ride arrives! I’m just glad that Bessie and Siggie and Beth had a good laugh about it all and that we enjoyed a wonderful morning with our friend Pat and her great 60th celebration!
Siggie said that she’s going to put names with all her numbers in her cell phone so that she won’t make this same mistake again. I guess it’s just a good thing that we weren’t flying somewhere instead of driving to a party; poor Bessie would be still sitting on the tarmac.